{"id":1649,"date":"2022-08-04T08:00:02","date_gmt":"2022-08-04T06:00:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/addiction-specialist.eu\/?p=1649"},"modified":"2022-08-03T20:28:12","modified_gmt":"2022-08-03T18:28:12","slug":"kako-postaviti-granice-u-obiteljskim-odnosima","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/addiction-specialist.eu\/hr\/2022\/08\/04\/kako-postaviti-granice-u-obiteljskim-odnosima\/","title":{"rendered":"Kako postaviti granice u obiteljskim odnosima"},"content":{"rendered":"<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"1649\" class=\"elementor elementor-1649\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section data-exad-particle-enable=\"false\" class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-505dc9c4 elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default exad-parallax-effect-no exad-background-color-change-no exad-glass-effect-no exad-sticky-section-no\" data-id=\"505dc9c4\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-2b6a273d exad-glass-effect-no exad-sticky-section-no\" data-id=\"2b6a273d\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-42f93571 exad-sticky-section-no exad-glass-effect-no elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"42f93571\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.23.0 - 15-07-2024 *\/\n.elementor-heading-title{padding:0;margin:0;line-height:1}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title[class*=elementor-size-]>a{color:inherit;font-size:inherit;line-height:inherit}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-small{font-size:15px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-medium{font-size:19px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-large{font-size:29px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-xl{font-size:39px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-xxl{font-size:59px}<\/style><h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Kako postaviti granice u obiteljskim odnosima?<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-18a77c8c exad-sticky-section-no exad-glass-effect-no elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"18a77c8c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.23.0 - 15-07-2024 *\/\n.elementor-widget-image{text-align:center}.elementor-widget-image a{display:inline-block}.elementor-widget-image a img[src$=\".svg\"]{width:48px}.elementor-widget-image img{vertical-align:middle;display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"960\" height=\"640\" src=\"https:\/\/addiction-specialist.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/Kako-postaviti-granice-u-obiteljskim-odnosima-mario-brajuha.jpg\" class=\"elementor-animation-grow attachment-large size-large wp-image-1652\" alt=\"kako postaviti granice u obitelji\" srcset=\"https:\/\/addiction-specialist.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/Kako-postaviti-granice-u-obiteljskim-odnosima-mario-brajuha.jpg 960w, https:\/\/addiction-specialist.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/Kako-postaviti-granice-u-obiteljskim-odnosima-mario-brajuha-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/addiction-specialist.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/Kako-postaviti-granice-u-obiteljskim-odnosima-mario-brajuha-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/addiction-specialist.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/Kako-postaviti-granice-u-obiteljskim-odnosima-mario-brajuha-18x12.jpg 18w, https:\/\/addiction-specialist.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/Kako-postaviti-granice-u-obiteljskim-odnosima-mario-brajuha-219x146.jpg 219w, https:\/\/addiction-specialist.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/Kako-postaviti-granice-u-obiteljskim-odnosima-mario-brajuha-50x33.jpg 50w, https:\/\/addiction-specialist.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/Kako-postaviti-granice-u-obiteljskim-odnosima-mario-brajuha-113x75.jpg 113w\" sizes=\"(max-width:767px) 480px, (max-width:960px) 100vw, 960px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<section data-exad-particle-enable=\"false\" class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-624f300d elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default exad-parallax-effect-no exad-background-color-change-no exad-glass-effect-no exad-sticky-section-no\" data-id=\"624f300d\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-3d44b839 exad-glass-effect-no exad-sticky-section-no\" data-id=\"3d44b839\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1bdf90a7 exad-sticky-section-no exad-glass-effect-no elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"1bdf90a7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.23.0 - 15-07-2024 *\/\n.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-stacked .elementor-drop-cap{background-color:#69727d;color:#fff}.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-framed .elementor-drop-cap{color:#69727d;border:3px solid;background-color:transparent}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap{margin-top:8px}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap-letter{width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap{float:left;text-align:center;line-height:1;font-size:50px}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap-letter{display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t<p>Jedan od najja\u010dih postulata psihologije je da su <strong>ljudska bi\u0107a po prirodi prilagodljiva<\/strong>. Bilo u logorima ili zatvorima; bilo da smo izgubili na\u0161e najbli\u017ee ili najmilije, kao vrsta mi to pre\u017eivljavamo jako u\u010dinkovito. Ali, ne samo da pre\u017eivljavamo te bolne do\u017eivljaje, nego poslije toga ve\u0107ina nastavi \u017eivjeti sretan i lijep \u017eivot. Dodu\u0161e, ponekad kad se prilagodimo nekim neugodnim ili nezdravim situacijama, to mo\u017ee imati posljedice na kvalitetu na\u0161ih \u017eivota. Naizgled funkcioniramo, ali ne \u017eivimo u punom kapacitetu. Kada je jedan \u010dlan u obitelji bolestan, potrebe drugih \u010dlanova, specifi\u010dno djece, ponekad su zanemarene. Ovo mo\u017ee dovesti do <strong>privremenih, ali i dugoro\u010dnih ogor\u010denja<\/strong>.<\/p><h3>Kako postaviti granice u obitelji?<\/h3><p>Prva stvar koju dojen\u010de nau\u010di je dojka=hrana, a druga je da kada zapla\u010de, mama odmah do\u0111e. Neke mame ne prestaju tr\u010dati do kraja \u017eivota. Jedna majka u Osijeku mi se po\u017ealila da njezine k\u0107erke inzistiraju da im ona i suprug prepi\u0161u njihovu imovinu. Roditelji to nisu htjeli napraviti, a k\u0107erke su ih ucjenjivale rekav\u0161i da im vi\u0161e ne\u0107e dozvoliti da vide unu\u010dad, ako im ne predaju stan. Roditelji su se osje\u0107ali bespomo\u0107no, jer nikad do sada <strong>nisu uspostavili granice sa svojom djecom<\/strong>, niti su imali ikakvih pravila i definirali uloge u obitelji. I sada kada prijete svojoj djeci nisu dosljedni. Rekao sam majci neka ka\u017ee k\u0107erkama da je otac oti\u0161ao u crkvu i da namjerava ostaviti svu njihovu imovinu crkvi. Uskoro poslije toga k\u0107erke su se pojavile sa svojom djecom. Naravno, moja opaska majci nije trajno rje\u0161enje.<\/p><h3>U \u010demu roditelji \u010desto grije\u0161e?<\/h3><p>U jednoj drugoj obitelji majka je tra\u017eila pomo\u0107 i objasnila da je njezina tridesetogodi\u0161nja k\u0107erka okrutna i bezosje\u0107ajna prema svojem dvadesetdvogodi\u0161njem bratu. Opisala je da je njezin sin nje\u017ean i osjetljiv. Rekao sam majci da \u0107u najprije popri\u010dati sa sinom da vidim njegov pogled na situaciju. Sin je bio zadovoljan s na\u0161im razgovorom i rekao je majci da \u017eeli raditi sa mnom. Onda sam poslao poruku k\u0107erki i predlo\u017eio kad bi se mogli sastati preko Zooma. \u010cekao sam par dana i kad nisam dobio odgovor, poslao sam k\u0107erki jo\u0161 jedan email. Opet nisam dobio odgovor. Nazvao sam majku da vidim je li mi dala to\u010dnu adresu. Majka je potvrdila da je adresa to\u010dna i da je njezina &#8221;k\u0107erka putovala&#8221;, da je bila &#8221;jako zauzeta&#8221; i da \u0107e me nazvati uskoro. Majka je napravila to\u010dno ono \u0161to mnoge majke rade \u2014 <strong>ispri\u010dala se u ime svoje k\u0107erke umjesto da nju prekori<\/strong>.<\/p><h3>Nau\u010diti re\u0107i NE je va\u017eno!<\/h3><p>Kada ne mo\u017eemo <strong>re\u0107i ne<\/strong> ili prijetimo <em>\u02dd\u010dekaj dok tata ne do\u0111e ku\u0107i\u201c<\/em>\u00a0 ili se ispri\u010davamo u njihovo ime, mi ne samo da ozlje\u0111ujemo sebe, nego i na\u0161u djecu.<\/p><p><strong>Nama trebaju granice<\/strong>.\u00a0 Isto tako, na\u0161a djeca se naizgled bune protiv granica, a u su\u0161tini ih tra\u017ee. Uspostavljanje granica i vje\u017ebanje kako re\u0107i ne jeste po\u010detak puta prema zdravim obiteljskim odnosima.<\/p><p>Roditelji u mnogim obiteljima te\u0161ko rade da bi opskrbili svoju djecu. Neki ostave obitelji privremeno, a neki i godinama. Erich Fromm u svojoj knjizi \u201eUmije\u0107e Ljubavi\u201c uspore\u0111uje ljubav majke ili roditelja prema djeci s onim \u0161to je Obe\u0107ana Zemlja za Izraelce kad su bje\u017eali is egipatskog ropstva: <strong>zemlja meda i mlijeka<\/strong>. Ono \u0161to Fromm podrazumijeva pod <em>mlijekom<\/em> je da roditelji\/obitelji\/majke daju djeci hranu, krov nad glavom, materijalnu ili financijsku sigurnost. A jo\u0161 va\u017enije je da nam obitelji pru\u017eaju <em>med<\/em>: gdje daju djetetu osje\u0107aj da je vrijedno biti ro\u0111en; ulijevaju u dijete ljubav prema \u017eivotu, a ne samo \u017eelju da ostane \u017eivo.<\/p><p>Med simbolizira slast \u017eivota, ljubav za \u017eivot i radost \u0161to smo \u017eivi. Sposobnost da se veselimo kada na\u0161a curica zabije prvi gol; da smo tu kraj nje kad grmi ili sijeva; da sinu \u010ditamo bajke ili pecamo ribe zajedno; da smo tu kada diplomira; da k\u0107erki \u010destitamo kada dobije prvi posao.<\/p><h3>Me\u0111ugeneracijski prijenos pona\u0161anja<\/h3><p>Mnoge obitelji nesvjesno prenose iz generacije u generaciju iste modele pona\u0161anja. Djeca u dvadesetim i tridesetim godinama jo\u0161 uvijek tra\u017ee bliskost i privr\u017eenost od roditelja; roditelji zauzvrat govore djeci <em>\u201esve ovo \u0161to mi radimo je za vas\u201c<\/em>. Roditelji nisu svjesni da ono \u0161to oni rade, rade za sebe, zbog sebe; da ispune ili zadovolje svoje unutra\u0161nje <strong>psiholo\u0161ke potrebe<\/strong>. Isto tako nisu svjesni odakle dolazi taj poriv ili osje\u0107aj odgovornosti u njima. Mo\u017eda od ne\u010dega \u0161to su naslijedili od prija\u0161njih generacija. Ozlije\u0111eni i ogor\u010deni smatraju da su njihova djeca nezahvalna i da je njihova \u017eivotna misija uzaludna, dok emocionalno osaka\u0107ena djeca ve\u0107 stvaraju novu generaciju \u017ertava. Zato nije lo\u0161e primiti neke obiteljske krize s dobrodo\u0161licom i kao priliku za mogu\u0107a pobolj\u0161anja odnosa izme\u0111u \u010dlanova obitelji.<\/p><p>Ako \u017eelite nau\u010diti vi\u0161e o granicama u obitelji ili \u017eelite razjasniti neku svoju obiteljsku situaciju, <a href=\"https:\/\/addiction-specialist.eu\/hr\/#contact\">javite se ve\u0107 danas<\/a>.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9d512bb exad-sticky-section-no exad-glass-effect-no elementor-widget elementor-widget-exad-exclusive-dual-heading\" data-id=\"9d512bb\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"exad-exclusive-dual-heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\n        <div class=\"exad-dual-heading\">\n            <div class=\"exad-dual-heading-wrapper\">\n            \n                <h2 class=\"exad-dual-heading-title\">\n                                    <span class=\"first-heading\">PODIJELI<\/span>\n                    <span class=\"second-heading\">OBJAVU<\/span>\n                                    <\/h2>\n\n                  \n\n            <\/div>\n        <\/div>\n        \t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-beb6699 elementor-share-buttons--view-icon elementor-share-buttons--shape-circle elementor-share-buttons--align-center elementor-share-buttons--skin-gradient elementor-grid-0 elementor-share-buttons--color-official exad-sticky-section-no exad-glass-effect-no elementor-widget elementor-widget-share-buttons\" data-id=\"beb6699\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"share-buttons.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<link rel=\"stylesheet\" href=\"https:\/\/addiction-specialist.eu\/wp-content\/plugins\/elementor-pro\/assets\/css\/widget-share-buttons.min.css\">\t\t<div class=\"elementor-grid\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-grid-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tclass=\"elementor-share-btn elementor-share-btn_facebook\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\trole=\"button\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\ttabindex=\"0\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\taria-label=\"Share on facebook\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-share-btn__icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"fab fa-facebook\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-grid-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tclass=\"elementor-share-btn elementor-share-btn_twitter\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\trole=\"button\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\ttabindex=\"0\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\taria-label=\"Share on twitter\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-share-btn__icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"fab fa-twitter\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-grid-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tclass=\"elementor-share-btn elementor-share-btn_linkedin\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\trole=\"button\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\ttabindex=\"0\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\taria-label=\"Share on linkedin\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-share-btn__icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"fab fa-linkedin\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-grid-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tclass=\"elementor-share-btn elementor-share-btn_skype\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\trole=\"button\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\ttabindex=\"0\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\taria-label=\"Share on skype\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-share-btn__icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"fab fa-skype\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-grid-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tclass=\"elementor-share-btn elementor-share-btn_whatsapp\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\trole=\"button\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\ttabindex=\"0\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\taria-label=\"Share on whatsapp\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-share-btn__icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"fab fa-whatsapp\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kako postaviti granice u obiteljskim odnosima? Jedan od najja\u010dih postulata psihologije je da su ljudska bi\u0107a po prirodi prilagodljiva. Bilo u logorima ili zatvorima; bilo da<span class=\"excerpt-hellip\"> [\u2026]<\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1652,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1649","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-obiteljska-psihoterapija"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Kako postaviti granice u obiteljskim odnosima &#8226; Obiteljska terapija<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Kako postaviti granice u obitelji, kako nau\u010diti re\u0107i NE, kako popraviti naru\u0161ene odnose? 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